When Naruto surfs the internet
by CaptainFlye
Summary: Naruto found an interesting post on the internet concerning his possible relationships, and then he dragged his friends into a conversation concerning the logic of the post. What! Naruto's using logic! DOOM! A Refutation of poor logic.


**Okay, so this is a reformatted version of an earlier piece. Why reformatted? Turns out that lists are against fanfiction posting rules, so it had to be fixed. Now this is in actual story form.**

**Originally it was simply my comments on someone's post in a forum labeled: 20 reasons NaruHina sucks. The list of reasons, found in the story below, seemed so ridiculous and faulty that I had to write something pointing out all the contradictions their list held. However, since I am not a member of _any_ forums, let alone that one, I had nowhere else I could think of to post this, so here it is, only now instead of coming from me, it's coming from the characters himself.**

**Final note, while I am a NaruHina fan, I will accept whatever becomes canon. As such, I have actually tried to present the material in an unbiased manner. This is not so much a 'NaruHina rules' story as it is a 'refutation of ridiculous reasons someone things NaruHina cannot work.' In other words, though my preference is NaruHina, I allow for the possibility of NaruSaku. I just feel that this particular argument against NaruHina is so full of holes I want to pour a bucket of water into it just to make a point.**

**So, without further ado, Naruto and his friends!**

***generic disclaimer**

* * *

"Hey Hinata! Hinata! You gotta come see this," Naruto yelled out, chasing down the kunoichi.

"What is it, Naruto-kun?"

"Okay, I was looking for something completely unrelated to the topic when I can across this, '20 reasons why NaruHina sucks', and, and…well, come on!" Naruto proceeded to grab Hinata's arm and dragged her to his apartment to show the girl his discovery. After he sat her down she carefully read the online post before making a reply. The webpage read:

20 Reasons why NaruHina Sucks

does not love Hinata.  
's feelings make her uncomfortable and liable to faint.  
and Naruto have limited development and interaction.  
have had less than 5 conversations. Ever.  
is a stalker  
is a minor character  
would drive Naruto stir crazy  
already has feelings for someone else.  
was never there for Naruto in his darkest hours.  
she was there, she was hiding behind a bush, watching. doesn't understand all that Naruto's gone through.  
have nothing in common  
only times Hinata has attempted to help Naruto, she's ended up at death's door.  
Hinata got stabbed and Naruto went crazy, he never thought back on her confession. Typical Shounen Hero response.  
vowed to avenge Hinata. AND Lee. AND Gaara. Hinata is not special.  
's father would never allow them to be together.  
already has romantic development with Sakura.  
can't keep with with Naruto, and would end up being left behind.  
do not attract in relationships.  
is a fan girl.

Hinata's eyes scrunched together as she thought about it, not wanting to be mean to the person who wrote it, even if she disagreed with them.

"We, well, to, to be fair, Naruto-kun, it looks like this was posted back in 2009, so parts of it could be a little out of date."

"Yeah, I guess…but most of it could _still_ be argued against the same way."

"I suppose so," Hinata said, pursing her lips and looking over the list again, trying to ignore the hurt feelings.

"Yeah, they just don't know what they're talking about. I mean, let's look at them. Number one: Naruto does not love Hinata," he read, causing Hinata to blush. "I mean, where do they get that? Sure, it MIGHT be true. I definitely told you I liked back before the Chuunin exams, but other than that…yeah, I guess it could be true."

"B, but it's still not established," Hinata put in meekly.

"Uhuh. But even if that one _might_ be true, look at the second one! 'Hinata's feelings make her uncomfortable and liable to faint.' I mean, yeah, you've fainted what…two, maybe three times in canon?"

"That, that seems about right. And I, I always try to do my best. I've never fainted when I was fighting, and it was _because_ of my feelings that I was able to fight against Pain."

"Yeah, exactly! You've fainted a couple times, but NEVER when it mattered! I'm not even sure you blushed when it really mattered," Naruto said thoughtfully. "Hmph. Obviously your feelings aren't _that_ much of a problem."

"What's the next one," Hinata asked.

"Uuuummmm…, 'Hinata and Naruto have limited development and interaction'. ... Ooookaaay, this kinds works with number four, too, doesn't it?"

"'They have had less than 5 conversations. Ever,'" Hinata read. "Y, yes, I suppose they do."

"Why did they put it as two reasons then? Were they that hard pressed to find 20 that they had to separate some?"

"Although, it is true that before you left, we barely talked."

"Yeah, _before_ I left. I'm pretty sure I've had more scenes with you than Neji now, though."

"Yes, and, and that hurt you deeply, when he died."

"Yeah, it did," Naruto said sadly before grinning foolishly and scratching the back of his head. "Guess I'm just the kind of guy that doesn't need to interact a _lot_ before I care about them, eh?"

"Not to mention you only talked with Gaara a couple times _ever_ before the time skip." Naruto and Hinata jumped as they noticed Sakura peering over their shoulders at the screen.

"S, Sakura-chan? When did you come in?!"

"They wanted you on set for the next episode and sent me to get you. I think they can wait, though. After all, they've had a couple seasons of those ridiculous fillers. I think they can wait for us a few minutes before we get back to filming."

"Y, yeah, I guess so," he replied. "S, so what do you think?"

"Off hand? They seem kind of silly. Like those two you guys were just talking about, I was pointing out that you didn't have hardly any interaction with Gaara for the time skip, and look how torn up you were over his death. Granted, Gaara isn't a legitimate romantic candidate for a canon relationship, but I don't think any of the yoai fans care.

"Really, what bothers me right now is number five, where they call Hinata a stalker."

"What?!" Hinata burst out a yell as she looked at the computer again, having missed that point on the first read. "But, but that, but that's not even canon," she cried out, tearing up. "There isn't even a hint of that in the manga. It, it's a fanfiction characterization!"

"We know, we know Hinata," Sakura said gently. "It's them hating on you and looking for any way to fill out there list. If they were actually fans and knew what was canon and what wasn't, they'd see you weren't a stalker at all."

"Actually, the only time I remember her doing anything like that at _all_, even in the anime, was that one filler with the oonba, wasn't it?" The girls shuddered.

"Please, don't remind us."

"S, sorry. Anyway, the point stands, Hinata being a stalker was an idea from fanfiction, some people because they hate her, others because it was funny to them as a plot device."

"Yeah," Sakura, turning to the monitor again. "Hey, this next one is correct, isn't it? That Hinata is a minor character?"

"Hm?" Hinata and Naruto looked at the sixth item.

"Well I, I don't really think that's a good point," Hinata said. "Literature is full of examples of main characters being, um, romantically involved with minor characters."

"Yeah, I know, right?! Like in that Lord of the Rings stuff, Arwen was totally a minor character, especially in the books, and Aragorn ended up with here, right?"

"And come to think of it, your character was based off of Goku, wasn't it? And he ended up with Chichi, who was also a minor character. As far as recurring characters go, she probably had the fewest panels."

"And, um, besides that, Naruto is, is _the_ main character, even if Shikimaru tried to take over the show that one time."

"Heh; liked I'd _ever_ let someone else take over my show! Es_pecially_ a minor character!"

"But Naruto, hasn't he helped you out a lot?" Naruto slumped at Sakura's point.

"But, that doesn't change that he is still a minor character," Hinata said. "Even, even if he got a bit of a bigger part, he still never became a major character. I, I would say that only team 7 has characters that could count as also being major."

"Yeah, and if we're _all_ major characters, and we all _have_ to end up with _other_ major characters, then that means…" Naruto's eyes got wide. "We'd have to clone Sakura!" Said female immediately punched him into the floor.

"Baka. I'm _not_ getting cloned. I can only end up with _one_ other character. It seems at the moment that it'll either be you or Sasuke, but we have no way of knowing yet. Either way, don't make up such ridiculous ideas just because someone is stuck on the idea of who should get stuck with who."

"Ye, yeah, Sakura-chan," Naruto moaned from the floor.

"Good. Now, on to the next point…' Hinata would drive Naruto stir crazy'." She cocked her head to one side. "Why? What's their basis for that?"

"Um, it, it's probably because I'm so quiet and reserved while Naruto-kun is loud and excited."

"Well, it's really not a valid point anyway. If you and I are the major contenders for Naruto's affections, and this person wants _me_ to be his romantic interest, shouldn't we point out that Naruto drives _me_ crazy about every five minutes?"

"Wait…where does it say that they want you as my interest?"

"Come on, Naruto, read between the lines. Half of their arguments revolve around you having feelings for me or something like that. So, if they want Naruto and I to end up together, and not Naruto and you, then they really should try using reasons that wouldn't invalidate our pairing as well."

"Ye, yes, I see your point."

"Hey, speaking of feelings, isn't that the next one," Naruto asked, pulling himself up. "Yeah, there it is! 'Naruto already has feelings for someone else.' Just like you said, Sakura-chan."

"Hmmm…and _I _ already have feelings for someone else as well, don't I? *cough, Sasuke, cough* Besides that, even since I sort of confessed to you, our feelings haven't been touched on at all really. I affirmed that, even though I love Sasuke he needs to be stopped and you said you hate people who lie. Sorry about that, by the way."

"Eh, you know me. I probably already forgot about that."

"Haha, I suppose you could have," Sakura said before putting her hand to her chin thoughtfully. "You know, even though it was established that I was at least lying partially, I wonder if my feelings might still have been real? That I actually was in love with you?"

"Well, we don't really know," Hinata said. "I, I guess we'll have to see what happens in the end before we make that call." The other two nodded in agreement.

"Moving on, I hate this next one," Naruto said. "What do they mean that, 'Hinata was never there for Naruto in his darkest hours?' I mean, did they forget how depressed and unconfident I was before fighting Neji? If it wasn't for Hinata, I might have gone into that fight with the wrong spirit and lost. And that wasn't the only time she was there for me, either. Who knows what would have happened if she hadn't stepped in there to fight Pain. I don't think I would have managed to go Kyuubi without her trying to protect me, and she was the only one brave enough to step in right then."

"Yeah, no kidding," Sakura said. "Though, to be fair, I don't think it was necessarily a lack of bravery on others parts. It could have been shock or inability. Tsunade-sama was in a coma, for example."

"Hmm, I guess so," he said. "Still, _she_ was the one who came in. I think coming in then, when I was about to be carried off and die from having the Kyuubi extracted counts as being there in one of my darkest hours."

"Yeah, I'd say so. And then more recently there was when Neji died. I don't think I was hardly even in the background there." She shook her head going back to the list before rolling her eyes. "Aaaaand once again they tried to make more reasons by splitting them up when they're part of the same reason. Look at the next one."

"'When she was there, she was hiding behind a bush, watching.' Hey, couldn't this be part of the stalker one, too?"

"Definitely. But still, it's wrong. Yeah, Hinata was totally always behind a bush when she was around during your darkest hours or otherwise. Or sitting next to you in the first exam. Or fighting for your life right in front of you. Or giving you healing balm after your prelim fight with Kiba. Or talking to you before the final exam (granted she hid behind a pole). How many times have we actually seen her behind a bush? How often are haters gonna stick to what's in the fanfiction realm instead of sticking to what's actually cannon? In fact, if we check the cannon Hinata here doesn't even stutter that much! Even in this piece her stutter has been exaggerated because the author thinks it's cute. The problem here is that everyone takes for canon that which is actually fanfiction. Prove you have a legitimate source, _then_ we'll talk about it, right?"

"Y, yes, thank-you, Sakura. I really appreciate it," Hinata said, smiling happily as the truth came out. "What is the next point they make?"

"I think you mean _try_ to make," Naruto said, shaking his head in disgust. "Now they're trying to say you don't understand what I've been through. I mean, on come, who _does_?"

"That is true," Hinata agreed. "After all, only someone else like Gaara would be able to, being a jinchuuriki. However, I do know what it is like to be looked down on."

"I suppose your clan isn't always very nice to you, is it?"

"W, well, in canon you only see how my father and my cousin treat me," Hinata replied. "I don't really think it is fair to go beyond that."

"Yeah, good point," Sakura mused. "Still you've had some pretty hard times yourself and, unlike me, you were shown seeking to understand and be like Naruto from the beginning. Given my character up to that point, I don't think I could have cheered him up like you did before his fight with Neji. I was much slower at _wanting_ to get to know you and I just assumed things about you that weren't fair. Hinata had a huge head start on me there."

"Yes but, but you are much better now. I would say it is clear that you truly care about Naruto as a person now."

"Thanks, Hinata."

"Alright, we all agree then. Next point! … 'They have nothing in common.'… Really? _Really?!_ Come on, that is _so_ weak. We're all ninja here, right? And Hinata wants to be recognized, just like me."

"We were also in the same class at the academy," Hinata pointed out.

"And you share the same nindo, I know," Sakura said, cutting them off. "In essence, if it wasn't for being on team seven, I wouldn't have much in common, either. We still don't, just like you two don't. Still, the author and his wife didn't have much in common before they started dating either."

"How do you know that?"

…

"I guess…because he made me say it?" The three ninja looked up.

"Yo, you really going to out in your own thoughts here? I thought this was _our_ story thing?!"

"But, but maybe his just wants to make a point since that idea attacks him and his wife. If someone said you had to have a lot in common before you could begin a relationship, he would never have been able to marry her. They had very little in common before dating, it would seem."

"And I am made to understand that his wife is agreeing emphatically about how different they were. Wow…they must have _really_ not mad much in common if she's agreeing that much."

"Then why the heck did they start dating?"

"Because they both liked to read."

…

"That was it?" Naruto sweat dropped.

"I suppose once you find one interest, you either make more or find more. If it matters to you, anyway."

"I think it's sweet," Hinata said.

"Well, just so long as they're happy. But moving back to the list…'the only times Hinata has attempted to help Naruto, she's ended up at death's door.' Oh, so they must mean that time when she gave you healing balm after your fight with Kiba right?"

"No, I'm pretty sure she was fine right then. Granted, Neji got her good, but that was completely unrelated to helping you and therefore a _**non sequitur**_. No, I think it was that time during the first exam…sitting in a chair….taking a test…in a near death situation….She _did_ almost die right after trying to help me in the first exam, right? Right? "

"Um, I was f, fine, Naruto-kun."

"Really? You didn't? Huh… Who'd a thunk?"

"Yeah, that's just crazy," Sakura said sarcastically. "Who in the _world_ could have failed to notice how Hinata only actually got injured at all when trying to help you _once_. I'm sure _no one_ is _that_ oblivious. Right, Hinata?"

"Y, yes. Um, Naruto-kun, what are you doing?" Naruto had closed his eyes tightly and looked very constipated.

"I'm trying to reflect on yours and Hinata's confessions, but the plot won't let me," he cried out in an exasperated voice.

"Why are you doing that _now_," Sakura asked in surprise.

"It was the next point. 'When Hinata got stabbed and Naruto went crazy, he never thought back on her confession. Typical Shounen Hero response. ' So I remembered _you_ confessed, which they failed to address in their point on Hinata's confession, and now I'm trying to think about even one of them…but I can't!"

"W, well, it _is_ a shounen, right? And if that is a typical shounen hero response, then I suppose that means we both are being left unresolved for the sake of moving on to the action."

"Yeah, probably," Sakura sulked. "Personally, I'd like to have a little romantic resolve, but I guess if they never reflect on confessions it leaves room open for guys like Kishimoto to keep fans in suspense until they can figure out a good solution."

"So basically…my lack of response doesn't mean anything for anybody to anybody?"

"That sums it up nicely."

"Gee, glad to be so valued." He shook his head. "Well moving on, point 14 seems to be more of an attempt to refute a possible NaruHina point than a reason why it sucks."

"Really? 'Naruto vowed to avenge Hinata. AND Lee. AND Gaara. Hinata is not special'," Sakura read. "Well, yeah, he _did_ vow to avenge Lee and Gaara. And look how important Gaara was to him. Yes, Naruto is the type of person to make such vows easily, and but it's also obvious he puts his whole soul into said vows." Hinata nodded at Sakura observation. "And he cares deeply about said person he made vow for. Yeah I wouldn't say his vow in the Chuunin exam was a declaration of love, or even like, but it _was_ one of friendship."

"Definitely, I care about Hinata, even if not romantically, and to me, friends _are_ special. Hasn't anyone notice that I didn't really have friends before I was a ninja? That makes friends all the more important to me, and Hinata is a friend! Right, Hinata?"

"Ye, yes, Naruto-kun. May I refute the next point?"

"Umm, sure. Why?"

"The next point says that my father would never allow us to be together."

"What? Now where did-" Naruto was cut off when Sakura punched him again.

"Idiot. Didn't you say you'd let her handle this? Go on, Hinata," she said, waving her hand at the other girl.

"Thank-you, Sakura-san. Ahem. I do not believe that there is a viable reference to this point. My father has been shown to be somewhat uncaring of me in canon, such as when he talked to Kurenai sensei about my training, but if anything, that only strengthens the idea that he would not care about my romantic life, either. However, after the Chuunin exams he was shown to have a softer side as well, when confronting Neji about my uncle's death. These scenes leave plenty of room for him to either not care, or to be unsupportive. There is nothing to show that he would actively work against it.

"The only possible reason would be if father felt it was not a benefit for the clan. As clan head he would be in charge of overseeing it's continuation and prosperity, but in recent times having one such as Naruto, the hero and savior of Konoha, being connected to our family, perhaps even a member of it, such a thing would only benefit the clan and, therefore, shows even less reason for him to disallow any involvement between myself and Naruto-kun."

"Wow Hinata, that was…wow."

"Thank-you," she replied with a slight bow of her head and a light blush.

"Well, she _is_ part of the clan heads family," Sakura pointed out. "She would have been trained in decorum as well as fighting, I would think."

"Huh. You're propably right. Alright, point number 17! 'Naruto already has romantic development with Sakura'. Wait…isn't this basically the same as number eight?"

"Well, not quite. That was just that you have feelings for, rather than romantic development with."

"Well, it's still the same to me," he shouted. "I mean, think about it, if I had romantic development with one person, but I had feelings for someone else, then, using the rules of this list up to this point, it wouldn't matter that I had romantic development at all!"

"Hmm, I guess that's true. Adding to that, though, I don't really think they're looking at this right. After all, people argue that you and Hinata have had romantic development, too. Rather, I think it would more accurate to say that there has been enough development for both Hinata and I to both still be in the running."

"Yes, I would say that, also. It seems that, that people will jump on proof of their pairing while denying evidence of the other without allowing for their own bias. Also, unlike me (sorry Sakura-san), Sakura has shown to definitely have romantic feelings for someone besides Naruto. So, shouldn't the fans be asking themselves of your own romantic development if it is romantic development, plot device, or fans groping for proof of their pairing while denying evidence of the other? Or is it, perhaps, a combination of all three?"

"Hey! That's just like it could be for Hinata, isn't it?! No WAY!" Naruto was promptly punched to the floor again.

"Really, Naruto? Don't you think you're going over the top," she asked in annoyance.

"Ow, ow, ow! Sorry, Sakura-chan, but they're points are so loose and all I couldn't help it. I mean, half of what they say can be said about you, too, right? Like the next one, too. 'Hinata can't keep with with Naruto, and would end up being left behind'. Not to be proud, but I've pretty much left _every_ character behind in terms of power. _No one_ can keep up really. At least, not any romantic interests. Bee's cool, but I think I've got him, too. I mean, really, this may be that person's weakest point, don't you think?"

"Perhaps, but I'll bet you I can refute the next point with a common saying."

"Oh yeah? It's a bet!"

"Eh?! Tsunade-sama?! What are you doing here?"

"Well, you guys were taking so long to get to the set they sent me."

"No, I mean, why did you enter the story _now_?"

"…because…Naruto wins bets and…and I…lose them," the Hokage said, her shoulders slumping.

"There there," Hinata said, patting her on the back softly, trying to cheer her up.

"Eh? So if I had taken the bet I would have lost?"

"Indeed," Sakura said, grinning. "The next point was 'Opposites do not attract in relationships'. What's one of the most common saying _about_ relationships? 'Opposites attract!' Really, everyone who reads that is just going to think of the old saying right off, so it's hardly even worth spending the effort to refute it when it does it on its own."

"Although," Tsunade said, sitting down across from them, "it should be noted that the saying isn't entirely true. It's an observation of a number of relationships. Sometimes opposites attract, sometimes they don't. It's a case-by-case basis, really. You get optimist and two pessimists, two of the opposites may get together while the others pair doesn't. There is no rule to love besides that you have to be _willing_ to put in the effort to make it work. It doesn't matter, in the end, whether they are opposites or not.

"But that aside, you really need to get to the set, Naruto. They're getting tired of waiting.

"Okay, but, just one more, k?"

"Okay. I'll even read it for you. 'Hinata is a fan girl'." Tsunade and company blinked. They looked at Hinata, then back at the computer, then at Hinata again.

"I…really don't see it," Tsunade said out of the corner of her mouth. "Do you?"

"Not really," her apprentice replied. "But I think I'm going to let the author handle this one while we get to work."

"Thank-you, Sakura. Hey everyone this is CaptainFlye here to put the final nail in the coffin as to why the twenty reasons Naruto (that is to say, *I*) found online concerning 'why NaruHina sucks' are founded in very poor logic.

"First off, for this one I actually took a full step back (metaphorically speaking; I'm sitting on my couch). I looked up various definitions for 'fangirl'. After careful consideration and thought on the various definitions I have come to the conclusion that Sakura has shown a lot more of the fangirl tendencies than Hinata has. Not to say Hinata hasn't shown any, but the ones she has shown, particularly in canon, have most closely matched with what is termed, in multiple definitions, as a 'harmless' fangirl rather than the crazy one that Sakura (over Sasuke) has tended to show. So, in regards to Naruto, yes, Hinata is more of a fangirl than Sakura. Over all, Sakura is more of a fangirl. And besides, just because someone is a 'fangirl', doesn't mean they can't have real feelings. I would cite a couple I know, but I decided to keep real people besides my wife and I out of this topic. Anyway, every girl who likes Naruto could be considered a 'fangirl'. The main difference between them and Hinata or Sakura is that, unlike them, these girls actually stand a chance.

"As an additional reference point, someone once did a piece comparing people who like both Gaara and Deidara, but hate Matsuri. The flaw in logic that was pointed out was that Deidara did only bad things to Gaara (like kill him), but despite this and their love for Gaara, they still like Deidara. On the other hand you have Matsuri, who has never done anything at all to Gaara besides declare that she likes him and say she thinks he is cool in canon, and in fillers has actually helped _save_ his life. Yet she is hated by those same people that love the person who killed their precious Gaara. The conclusion was that Matsuri is hated because, unlike those real life Gaara fangirls, Matsuri actually has a chance. (note, this is just a comment about faulty logic, not words spoken in support of a GaaraMatsu pairing).

"So, how was that, Naruto?"

"Rasengan!"

"Ah! When did I get involved in the filming process?! I'm a writer, not a ninja! Let me out, let me out!"

"Aaaand, cut!"

* * *

**So, in the end, I like the spirit of what someone else said in that same forum: "I know NaruHina will not happen but I am still a fan of the pairing. I just won't rewrite canon to make my fan pairing a reality. Zutara helped me realize that."**

**Personally, I don't know what Kishimoto will do with the shipping war, but I didn't become a fan of the series because of NaruHina or any other pairing. I became a fan because I _liked_ it. Naruto may end up with Hinata, he may end up with Sakura, or maybe even no one. We don't know, but as fans, I think it's pointless to spend a lot of time hating on a character just because they go against our 'one true pairing'. I hope for NaruHina, I write NaruHina (mostly), but I _read_ Naruto.**


End file.
